Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize