he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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