It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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