you turned your livingroom into a bong?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
