Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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