So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
