I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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