; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
