no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
