everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize