you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
