could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
