Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
