Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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