I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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