I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Sacagawea was the original milf.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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