Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Randomize
