my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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