where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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