omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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