dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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