You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
