I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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