I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Randomize
