Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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