trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
