I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
