...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
