he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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