i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
