By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
