Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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