no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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