Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize