I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
