Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
