Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my phone needs a breathalizer
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
