i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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