we made out on top of his cat.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We talked him into tasing himself.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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