What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
