Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
