i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
