Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
