I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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