as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
