is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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