Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
These tits shall not be calmed
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
