just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize