dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
