Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
