I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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