Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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