Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I had to cum in my sink.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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