what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
