it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
