She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
