Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
