You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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