I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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