Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
