I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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