your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
