At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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