I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
