oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
