Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Nicole vs. Life
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
