You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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