Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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