if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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