You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
