dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
